Realize is defined as "the process of noticing or understanding something you did not notice or understand before" or "to achieve something you have wanted for a long time" ("Realize"). Taken together, these definitions suggest a possible direction: to first recognize something within ourselves and then consider how we might bring that recognition into reality. What, then, should we seek to realize about ourselves?

Culture can shape how we understand the boundaries between the self and others. In individualistic cultures like the United States, rational choice theory—the idea that individuals choose among available options in ways they expect will best advance their preferences or interests, given the constraints they face—offers one framework for understanding this emphasis on individual choice. At first glance, greater choice and personal agency might seem likely to produce greater happiness. However, in practice, we may have far less control than we realize. In "Self-Determination: The Tyranny of Freedom," Barry Schwartz argues that our sense of rational choice is influenced by the kind of culture we inhabit (81). Highly individualistic cultures focused on personal autonomy and self-determination can view rules and traditions as restrictive, not agents of greater freedom and social connection. In some more collectivist cultural contexts, the self is viewed as an interdependent entity, with decisions being made in the greater interest of the group (Schwartz 84). Here, rules provide increased freedom due to their shared adoption. Schwartz offers language as an example: words must be exact and inflexible in their meanings, yet this rigidity allows people to understand one another and communicate freely (81). Extending this argument, he identifies three ways that highly individualistic contexts can undermine well-being: expectations about control (the assumption that increased autonomy will equate to increased satisfaction), increased expectations of the self and others, and an undermined sense of social interdependence via increased individual autonomy (Schwartz 85). In this sense, overemphasizing personal freedom may reinforce the expectation that more choice will bring greater happiness: when choice fails to satisfy us, we often seek still more options, assuming that the solution lies in expanding our range of choices rather than reconsidering our relationship to choice itself.

Symbolic interactionism offers another way to understand how identity develops through social life. Murotmusaev and Tangrikulova argue that self-awareness develops “not by simply looking at others, but by acting in concert with them” (190). Linda Francis describes this phenomenon as a "paradigm shift in conceptualizing self, driven by both emotions and identity" (Francis and Adams 271). This research suggests identities are created and asserted through dynamic interplay within our social, cultural, and economic environments.

A possible solution is to address the social environment itself. In social interdependence theory, Shimizu et al. explain that human dynamics depend on how personal goals are placed within the larger social structure. Positive interdependence, in which individuals perceive their goals as connected to the success of others, can be structured through outcomes (shared goals within the group), means (shared resources), and boundaries (physical or group identity). "Positive interdependent cooperation does not only tend to result in more frequent use of higher-level reasoning and more intrinsic motivation, but also promotes more positive interpersonal relationships and greater social support" (2). Importantly, the transformation from self-interest to mutual interest is "one of the most important aspects of social interdependence" (2).

Because our understanding of ourselves is shaped in relationship with the cultural and social systems around us, changing those systems may offer one way to reconsider what we value. Social interdependence suggests that personal and mutual interests can be structured to reinforce one another. To realize ourselves, then, may require more than maximizing individual choice. It may mean recognizing how deeply our identities are connected to others while finding ways to build systems that encourage both individual agency and collective connection.

Works Cited

Francis, Linda E., and Richard E. Adams. "Two Faces of Self and Emotion in Symbolic Interactionism: From Process to Structure and Culture—And Back." Symbolic Interaction, vol. 42, no. 2, 2019, pp. 250–77, https://doi.org/10.1002/symb.383.

Murotmusaev, Komiljon Buribaevich, and Regina Tangrikulova. "Social Psychology of Communication: Communication as the Realisation of Social and Interpersonal Relationships." International Journal of Multicultural and Multireligious Understanding, vol. 8, no. 5, 2021, pp. 190-200, https://doi.org/10.18415/ijmmu.v8i5.2634.

“Realize.” Cambridge Learner’s Dictionary, Cambridge University Press, https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/learner-english/realize. Accessed 20 Oct. 2024.

Schwartz, Barry. "Self-Determination: The Tyranny of Freedom." The American Psychologist, vol. 55, no. 1, 2000, pp. 79–88, https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.55.1.79.

Shimizu, Ikuo, et al. “Measuring Social Interdependence in Collaborative Learning: Instrument Development and Validation.” BMC Medical Education, vol. 20, no. 1, 2020, article 177, https://doi.org/10.1186/s12909-020-02088-3.

Pictured above
Walker, Coire: Photograph of Incense at Wat Phra Si Rattana Satsadaram, Bangkok, Thailand. 1 Apr. 2023. Author's personal collection.